I have received many phone calls and e-mail communications from individuals who have just discovered that an abortion has occurred in their family. For some, they are overwhelmed with shock. After that wears off, they are left with various emotions that include grief, anger, frustration, and helplessness.
Whether or not you realize it, you are in the process of beginning to mourn a lost family member. Regardless of how the post-abortive parent is reacting, you must give yourself time to mourn this loss. Maybe you fall into the categories listed below. Regardless, understand that you are hurting and may need to go through your own grief process.
While women are normally the initial target audience for ministry services, we know that other people are affected by post abortion pain. Here are the groups Ramah International, Inc. Carol Everett, former head of five Dallas abortion clinics as well as a woman who experienced an abortion, describes the post-abortive woman in this way:. We are in churches.
We are in shopping centers. We are in grocery stores. We work in daycare centers. We are high school dropouts. We are high school graduates. We have Bachelor degrees, Masters, and Ph. We work well below our level of capability. We work at the top level of corporations and governments. Society is not going to punish us. Years later something snaps and we can no longer bear the burden of our sin.
We confess. Perhaps tentatively, carefully, cautiously, discreetly, prudently to a friend, a loved one, a boyfriend, a husband or a lover. Information channels can destroy this myth and bring the reality of the abortion home in an undeniable way. This leaves us open to the feelings of overwhelming grief and guilt that we have stifled for many years. The pain can encompass the heart and until this lost child is properly mourned, peace is a distant concept. Bruce was fully formed, sucking his thumb, and kicking around at 16 weeks of age.
For others, fetal development information or pro-life films i. Or it could be in giving birth or struggling with infertility issues which makes it difficult to deny the humanity of the unborn. The post-abortive woman can be found in nearly every race, religion, culture, correctional facility, income-bracket, or age range.
Society is completely permeated with our ranks. Yet few know us personally because we normally refuse to allow people to be our close friends for fear they might find out our secret. Eventually, after the denial is broken with the truth that the woman aborted a fully formed baby, a post-abortive individual will face the truth that she lost a child and begins to grieve. Because the woman endured the abortion physically, her emotions differ from other post-abortive individuals. Regardless of the reasons for the abortion, the resulting emotional, spiritual and psychological pain is the same.
However, the focus of their anger may vary. Fathers While less is known about the emotional impact of abortion on fathers, the main difference between men and women is that the woman physically experiences the abortion. Healing can sometimes depend on the scenario. Unfortunately, there is very little is available to men who are struggling with the death of their child through abortion.
While many crisis pregnancy centers have offered bible studies to these fathers, few men are willing to address this pain. Again, very little is known about the emotional impact of abortion upon grandparents. One of the most important of these is the deformation of the racial distribution of our population. The total fertility rate TFR is the average number of births that each woman has in her lifetime.
A TFR of 2. For the first time in , the TFR of black women dipped under replacement. Then in , for the first time in 35 years, the TFR of white women exceeded replacement. What this means in plain language is this: because of its extraordinarily high abortion rate, black Americans comprise a much smaller percentage of the population than they would have without abortion.
As always, they are dead wrong. This is a membership ratio of more than ten to one, a decisive consensus by any measure. Two cardinals, 74 archbishops and bishops, 14 abbots, 5, priests, 6, religious sisters, 3, permanent deacons, and religious brothers have been killed by abortion in the USA since This means that every week, an average of eight future priests, sisters, deacons and brothers are thrown into dumpsters behind abortion clinics around the nation.
As of , there were 5. The worldwide population of Jews is And now, it looks as if they never will recover, largely thanks to abortion in the U. If this trend continues, Judaism may well become extinct in the United States by the dawn of the next century. In short, pro-life religious institutions are growing rapidly while pro-abortion institutions are dying out. The only positive aspect of birth limitation through abortion and contraception is that it is a self-correcting evil.
Those people, social groups, nations and even continents that practice it tend to die out over time. He found that pro-choice college groups are rare, but every single college he visited had a large number of pro-life women willing to confront him. These pro-abortion leaders are not just whistling past the graveyard; they are sprinting past it with air horns blasting in both hands. FACT: Not every state reports abortion by ethnicity, but those that do reveal that abortions to blacks and Hispanic women account for ACTION: Given the number of minority babies aborted, we need to expose abortion as a form of racism that may be targeting minority women for profit.
This also creates a demographic disaster for minority populations. FACT: Sixty percent of women getting an abortion are in their 20s. ACTION: Women who obtain abortions are mostly young women in their 20s trying to forge their way through the responsibilities of adult life.
They may be putting off childbearing until they feel more stable. Few draw the clear, direct connection between the collapse of the institution of marriage and the family and abortion. Churches and policies that support and encourage marriage and parenting will treat the underlying disease, not just abortion — the symptom of a larger problem.
Sadly, women without supportive partners often feel like they are left with no choice but to abort the child. Only But for some reason, they feel like they cannot handle another child. This speaks to a failure in our culture to make children wanted and mothers supported.
If moms feel so overwhelmed they kill their own unborn children, then what are we doing to help them feel less overwhelmed, less alone, and less financially strained?
ACTION: Though self-identification may be a poor form of measuring religious engagements, these findings show that women getting an abortion are willing to be thought of as religious, but are also still willing to get an abortion. FACT: Poverty does drive women to abortion.
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