Perhaps we can learn from each other. On the one hand, there are stars, lights, angels, Father Christmas, baby Jesus plus wise men, shepherds and animals , adored carols and the stockings on the end of the bed. Oh joy! Every year. Christmas is at once joy and drudgery and after 43 years of cooking turkeys I have no idea how to change things.
Or whether I really want to. Why not be disciplined and set yourself a budget this year, perhaps deciding that one or two on your list could just have a card instead of a gift?
We tend to spend too much, so this year would be a good time to shift the habit. And finally A candle can help to banish evil. When something terrible happens, I usually receive anguished emails from readers and friends, expressing gloom at the state of the world. There are times I share that despair. Watching television footage of the tearful widow of Sir David Amess visiting the site of his vile killing with other devastated family members, was one such moment. Shock and disbelief can be quickly transformed into a universal pessimism that overwhelms — like a stifling black cloth over your face.
Bel answers readers' questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. In those moments I too conclude that the Good is in terminal retreat, while triumphant Evil stalks this earth. How to fight it? By imagining the transformative effect of a single candle in a darkened room and deliberately lighting one in your mind.
Actually visualise that action, just before you decide what the light represents. So I think of the wonder in the face of parents as they cradle their newborn, the uplifting videos I watch online which show human kindness. And so on — too many to list. It always will. Argos AO. Privacy Policy Feedback. JANINE This is one of those niggling little problems many people will regard as trivial, but which can cause a lowering of the spirits. No, your simple email opens another door of woe hard to define.
More from Bel Mooney for the Daily Mail Our wonderful NHS The golden season is upon us - just as the Covid curse lifts. He said it had ended months before and meant nothing. I asked him who she was, what she looked like, how they met. Now I had four sons and two dogs and life was very busy.
So we stayed together, as for me it was important to keep a stable home for our sons. Life was mostly happy in those years. There seemed nothing wrong but it was always there in the back of my mind.
I said, be honest, but when he was, there was pain all over again. It is so hard to come to terms with the deceit and the fact that he could do those intimate things I thought were special. How can I let it go? Rose was not my first girlfriend but I felt different about her and wanted to care for her.
In , I had a short affair, just seven secret dates — not a love relationship, a sexual fling. But Rose found out and all hell broke loose. How could I? She is the girl I love — still my everything. But three years ago she returned to it and insisted I tell her everything.
Please help with some good advice. This week Bel advises a reader who is struggling to get over the affair her husband had in This is only the second time in 15 years that a husband and wife have written in together, sharing an email. Can we begin with that union in e-space? I believe you can still share old age together — instead of this miserable, misguided plan of splitting up in your 70s, because of a stupid but very common lapse 48 years ago.
Right now, you are sharing this heartache. Pete, I bet you wish you had learned how to talk things through years ago. And that you could have your time all over again.
Rose says you tell her you love her — and I believe you. But how can you make her believe it and help her exorcise that old demon? The demon is living with you.
Yet forgiveness is always possible. Are you listening, Rose? You are the mother of four sons; surely by now you have gleaned that men may misbehave and hurt women? It happens vice versa, too. If we were to abandon all those we care for because of one wrong one sin, if you like , no humans could live together. Pete remains your first love. You two can still tiptoe into old age, holding each other up. So why not try the burning ritual together? Rose writes a letter full of old hurt and ongoing anger and pain and blame.
Remember you are still the 16 and 17 year olds who fell in love. Within your souls is all you shared, the bad times and the good, the joy of children, the anxiety of watching them grow — together. Think of those boys; how you feel about them still. To choose loneliness would be to negate a lifetime. I'm locked down in abusive hell. Anxiety and chest pain. This was the case even before Covid. I long for a caring doctor who takes the time to listen.
Not all ailments are visible. I survived March lockdown; the weather was good etc. Second lockdown, it increased. The abuse started. These days sadly fewer and fewer people consider church services essential for marking the great stages of life: christenings, confirmation, marriage and death.
Yes, there are now many dedicated celebrants see humanists. Bel answers readers' questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. What matters is the awareness that some sort of formal ceremony makes events memorable. Such moments are needed as true markers in life.
A merry spirit as well as a man of faith, he and I were close — and he was greatly loved, all the more so when left bereft after my mother-in-law died. At least three important mourners were there with second families, while their first wives, partners and adult children played a part.
The village in South Devon was where my first husband and I spent a three-day honeymoon in February , and aching nostalgia can make visits poignant. But my son and daughter now holiday there with their own kids.
And some of the next generation were in the ancient church, smelling incense, singing hymns and becoming a part of a whole. Yes, that is how it can be. Argos AO. Privacy Policy Feedback. Dear Bel, I married an extremely attractive girl five years older than me in Thought of the day The first week was a consolation, a pure relief.
More from Bel Mooney for the Daily Mail The golden season is upon us - just as the Covid curse lifts. Contact Bel Bel answers readers' questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. A pseudonym will be used if you wish. Sorry we are not currently accepting comments on this article.
Bing Site Web Enter search term: Search. First look at Rebel Wilson's debut kids' book Bella the Brave Goode gig to perform with Sting at fundraiser gala in New York City Kim Kardashian makes a statement wearing skintight purple ensemble topped by her favorite coat Globetrotting pop star carries a bouquet of flowers as she runs errands at a local supermarket after returning to the UK Alec Baldwin's movie Rust 'will NEVER be finished', crew member predicts, after star accidentally shot and killed cinematographer with prop gun Liam Hemsworth and model girlfriend Gabriella Brooks look casual cool as they jet into Sydney with his brother Chris No dad bod here!
Orlando Bloom, 44, goes shirtless while decorating daughter's nursery Rebel Wilson shows off her slimmed-down figure and trim waist in a fuchsia jumpsuit as she parties on the beach 'We both have so much respect and love for each other' Jessie J reveals split from dancer Max Pham after seven months in heartfelt post Bond girl Lea Seydoux debuts new light blonde pixie cut as she steps out in a modest black-and-white ensemble at The French Dispatch screening in Paris Amelia Hamlin says she's 'rly rly happy' as she flips off the camera Ruelas as she shares firework filled video from right after proposal in Greece Richard Madden looks dapper in a black suit as he struggles to contain his laughter with Eternals co-star Angelina Jolie at film's photocall during Rome Film Festival Angelina Jolie enjoys a relaxed chat with daughter Shiloh, 15, as star goes for scenic stroll with her children in Rome Halyna Hutchins' heartbroken husband and son, 9, are spotted in New Mexico two days after she was accidentally shot dead by Alec Baldwin Kim Kardashian's stalker is arrested on felony charges after trespassing at her Hidden Hills gated community despite five-year restraining order 'I will worry for the whole pregnancy!
Presenter, 56, ties the knot for the third time with Vicky Burton, 38, after being forced to postpone ceremony SIX times Harry Potter star Evanna Lynch reveals how she trolled HERSELF online after being cast as Luna Lovegood as she struggled with anorexia Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade show off their toned torsos as they pose topless in sexy mirror selfies Turned up the heat on Sunday Georgia Harrison showcases her ample assets and toned frame in a busty blue bikini during wellness resort getaway Larsa Pippen transforms into Scarface's Elvira Hancock in busty silver dress and blonde wig as she attends Drake's star-studded Halloween-themed birthday party Amanda Holden, 50, cuddles up to lookalike daughters Lexi, 15, and Hollie, 9, in rare snap from sun-soaked getaway with husband Chris Hughes JoJo Siwa dyes her hair brown to match DWTS partner Jenna Johnson William 'mentions Harry by name' in 'sweet and intimate' speech thanking donors for Diana statue and reveals they're 'both happy' with it John Mulaney's romance with pregnant Olivia Munn is reportedly facing 'uncertainty' Great British Bake off judge Paul Hollywood makes his lockdown bubble with pub landlady Melissa Spalding permanent Elsa Hosk stays cozy in a stylish double-breasted jacket while stepping out for lunch with her partner and daughter in Pasadena Love nest!
Pointless meets Doctor Who 'as Richard Osman's new love Ingrid Oliver moves in' Victoria's Secret model Georgia Fowler shows off her long legs as she takes newborn daughter Dylan out for breakfast in Sydney's Double Bay Rag'n'Bone Man cuts an edgy figure as he lights up the stage with a live performance in Bournemouth 'I couldn't be vegan I don't see the point! Zendaya looks tickled after her Dune costar Timothee Chalamet jokes that her real-life beau Tom Holland is her 'celebrity crush' EastEnders' Jessie Wallace looks edgy in a maxi dress and leather jacket while Anthea Turner, 61, wows in a silk blouse at a jazz bar launch event A right royal love in!
Sienna Miller has lots to smile about as she returns home from New York - maybe because of a man named Archie Lucy Liu rocks olive green bomber jacket with black slacks as she steps out in New York City with a gal pal Prince Andrew's ex-girlfriend's year-marriage is 'hit by the curse of lockdown' Under her thumb!
Forget parties - Lothario Mick Jagger is enjoying cosy nights on US tour with his ballerina girlfriend. And he's never been happier! Even before it has appeared on our screens, Sarah Jessica Parker's new 'Carrie dress' sends Sex And The City fans into global meltdown 'Bullies turn tables so victims take blame': Jesy Nelson's sister Jade takes aim at Leigh-Anne Pinnock in bold statement over blackfishing scandal.
Today's headlines Most Read Is working from home bad parenting? Businesswoman claims not going into the office sets the wrong example Welcome to the world Otto! Single mum who weighed 21st loses half her body weight and becomes a personal trainer after fearing she'd Happy howl-o-ween!
Freaked out woman shares VERY bizarre footage of 'ghost' undoing her dog's collar Beautician, 40, warns against cheap surgery after being left covered in third degree burns and patches of Woman, 25, reveals how severe allergic reaction to lash extensions left her unable to see and fearing she'd
0コメント